I think God leaves me alone to let me find my own strength because no one else can give it to me. Sometimes it is very lonely. But I know the lonely times teach me the most. I must let go in order to let anything in.
So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, ‘For three years now I’ve been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven’t found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?’ “‘Sir,’ the man replied, ‘leave it alone for one more year, and I’ll dig around it and fertilize it. If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down. Luke 13:7-9 New International Version (NIV)
This past year has been a year full of changes and reflection for me. I had a life altering surgery in December of 2011 and with that surgery came a new set of rules and regulations. I remained isolated during my recovery and even after my healing, I chose to remain isolated. In the beginning, I didn’t know or understand why I chose this path but it would soon become evident.
I would soon learn that in order to make certain changes in my life, I had to remove myself from certain situations in order not to fall victim to past habits. I would also learn to be still and listen more intently for the word of God. You see, when we are in constant motion, we may not be able to hear
Whatever it is he wants to say to us. I would also learn to become more observant. I would learn to be still, watch and observe and be still. It is not necessary to voice every thought you think.
But one of the most important lessons I would learn is to listen to the still small voice inside of me that would help me to see things as they really are and not as I wished for them to be. There were things in my life I had been holding onto that were not healthy for me or my well-being and it was those things, people and situations I would have to learn to let go. I would learn that it takes more strength to let certain things go than to hold on to them.
Saints of God, sometimes we must learn and understand that wanting something or someone to bear fruit in our lives is not going to happen no matter how much we want it to be so. We plant those things in our lives we hope will become a blessing but soon realize that no matter how much time, energy, or resources we invest in the crop, there will be no harvest.
We must learn that in order for good things to come to us, we must let go of the bad.
Prayer:Father God, thank You for the clarity and vision You have given me to see both the good and bad in my life. Help me learn to accept those things I cannot change, let them go and to move forward in faith. Heal the void in my life with your presence and to know that change can be painful but change is also necessary if we are to grow and move forward on this spiritual journey. Thank You Father for fresh grace and mercy and for favor. Thank you Lord, for Your Son, Jesus Christ. It is in His name we pray. Amen