Principle 4: Sometimes we have to "agree to disagree"

by: Cheryl and Keith Donovan

There are times when my husband and I can't agree. No matter how much we try we can't come to a mutually satisfying conclusion. Each of us wants to win the battle and be right. For me, in the past, conclusion was everything. But we've learned over the years every difference of opinion doesn't have to be settled. We no longer expect to agree on everything. Remembering that our relationship, not the issue, is the most important thing we often ask ourselves if our motives for the disagreement are selfish. If they are we pray about our differences and let them go. After all it was our differences that attracted us to one another in the first place. Just because we have differing opinions doesn't mean we aren't compatible or that we are drifting apart. We are willing to not get defensive nor to insist on winning at all costs. Agreeing to disagree helps us to appreciate one another's uniqueness.

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an Award-winning author, Bible teacher, and licensed Evangelist, Cheryl's books, CD's, and devotionals are not meant to only entertain, but to also minister to and encourage others.

Keith Donovan is a husband, father, son, and most importantly a man of God. He endeavors to emulate the image of Christ as he forges his way through life.

Keith and Cheryl have been married for seventeen years and have three grown children and one grandson.

Their new book Do You Still Do What Happens Happily Ever After can be pre-ordered by visiting Peace in the Storm Publishing. To learn more about them visit their website Do You Still Do Marriage

7 Principles for a Marriage of Purpose

Principle 3: Keep a "teachable spirit"

by: Cheryl and Keith Donovan

We believe that God can use each of us to help the other deal with "blind spots." We all have areas in our lives in which we need to grow or bad habits we need to overcome. Sometimes these things are easy for our spouse to see, but difficult for us to see in ourselves. If we keep a teachable spirit, God can use our spouse to help us grow to be a better person, a better spouse, and more Christ like.

Easier said than done because human nature tends to be defensive and stubborn we tend to react unseemly when our spouse tries to help us see a weak area. Pointing out one of their weaknesses while excusing our own we try to ease our ego. But as long as we both are determined to keep a genuine teachable spirit, the marriage continues to soar to new heights!

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an Award-winning author, Bible teacher, and licensed Evangelist, Cheryl's books, CD's, and devotionals are not meant to only entertain, but to also minister to and encourage others.

Keith Donovan is a husband, father, son, and most importantly a man of God. He endeavors to emulate the image of Christ as he forges his way through life.

Keith and Cheryl have been married for seventeen years and have three grown children and one grandson.

Their new book Do You Still Do What Happens Happily Ever After can be pre-ordered by visiting Peace in the Storm Publishing. To learn more about them visit their website Do You Still Do Marriage

7 Principles for Having a Marriage of Purpose

Principle 2: We enjoy sharing the details of life with each other.

by; Cheryl and Keith Donovan

We want to know "how the day went" for each other. We share the details of what's going on at work or what's going on in the lives of our kids.

This was not always the case. There was a time in our marriage when communication was tertiary at best. Struggling often to put my feelings into words after an, I would withdraw and shut my husband out with silence just to avoid conflict. Feelings buried so as not to provoke Keith only stayed buried for the short term. They eventually came to a head. My passive aggressive behavior of nagging and blaming was just as dangerous to our marriage as Keith’s more aggressive tirades of anger that played out with yelling and screaming. We had developed a habit of allowing our arguments to get out of control. Not resolving the problem gave us an initial feeling of peace and harmony, but it was like a wound that heals on the surface when underneath there’s an infection that needs to be released. No one enjoys lancing the wound, but real recovery can’t take place otherwise.

we had to reframe our thinking, realign the way we handled disagreements to better reflect the pattern God wanted to see. Instead of justifying our behavior we learned how to properly react to disagreements no matter how intense they were or who was at fault. We learned to see through conflict and search for the real issues that were submerged under the surface of our shallow pool of volatile emotions. Bringing God into the conversation didn’t hurt. His wisdom always helped when we couldn’t find the answer on our own. Each time we worked out a disagreement this way we were better equipped to deal with the next one. It fine-tuned our relationship.

Now, we crave the opportunity to talk to one another and share our inner most thoughts and feelings. Open communication that is edyfying, encouraging, and reaffirming makes for a long lasting realtionship able to endure the test of time.

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an Award-winning author, Bible teacher, and licensed Evangelist, Cheryl's books, CD's, and devotionals are not meant to only entertain, but to also minister to and encourage others.

Keith Donovan is a husband, father, son, and most importantly a man of God. He endeavors to emulate the image of Christ as he forges his way through life.

Keith and Cheryl have been married for seventeen years and have three grown children and one grandson.

Their new book Do You Still Do What Happens Happily Ever After can be pre-ordered by visiting Peace in the Storm Publishing. To learn more about them visit their website Do You Still Do Marriage