7 Principles for Having a Marriage of Purpose

Principle 6: Unconditional Love

The Greek language (the language of the New Testament) uses two different words to describe and define love. The most commonly used Greek word translated "love" in the New Testament is "agape." This love is represented by God's love for us. It is a non-partial, sacrificial love probably best exemplified by God's provision of His Son's life for our sins.

Unconditional love is the kind of love spoken of in 1 Corinthians 13: 1-13; patient, kind, overlooking faults, not rude, not self seeking. This "true love" is the type of love that comes with no string attached. After the initial passion when you first meet someone has subsided, unconditional love takes over. You accept that your partner is not perfect but that doesn't cause you to run to the hills - that is real love. You know that they are not infallible. But you dont mind that. You still love them. This is unconditional love. When this kind of love exists in marriage it transcends the emotional, lust filled love of one's youth. It opens the door for new communication, new commtiment, and new understanding.

Take the time to love your spouse with the agape love of God that goes past the surface enabling you to look deep into their heart and love them for who God has made them to be despite their faults and shortcomings.

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an Award-winning author, Bible teacher, and licensed Evangelist, Cheryl's books, CD's, and devotionals are not meant to only entertain, but to also minister to and encourage others.

Keith Donovan is a husband, father, son, and most importantly a man of God. He endeavors to emulate the image of Christ as he forges his way through life.

Keith and Cheryl have been married for seventeen years and have three grown children and one grandson.

Their new book Do You Still Do What Happens Happily Ever After can be pre-ordered by visiting Peace in the Storm Publishing. To learn more about them visit their website Do You Still Do Marriage

7 Principles for a Marriage of Purpose

Principle 5: Forgive and Forget

There's no doubt about it the closer the relationship the more severe the pain of the offense. But it is important to understand that the offense is harmless unless we allow it to take root in our spirit and grow. Jesus Himself told us in Luke 17:1 it's impossible not to be offended in this life. Therefore the question isn't will you be offended but how you will deal with it when you are offended.

Forgiveness is an essential expectation marriage but it comes with a counterpart and that’s forgetting.. “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, you Father will not forgive your sins." - Matthew 6:14-15. This is a commandment with a promise. If you desire forgiveness from God you must learn to forgive. That includes your husband. But it’s forgetting in marriage that can be downright impossible. How can you be expected to forget the horrible words, the devastating arguments, or worse yet, the affair? Truthfully, there is no cut and dry answer to this question. Only God can give the courage and strength to truly forgive from your heart. But it is important to remember that when you don’t forgive the only person you are hurting is yourself.

Forgiveness is the only cure for offense. When we forgive we release the power of God to bring good out of a bad situation.

Principle 4: Sometimes we have to "agree to disagree"

by: Cheryl and Keith Donovan

There are times when my husband and I can't agree. No matter how much we try we can't come to a mutually satisfying conclusion. Each of us wants to win the battle and be right. For me, in the past, conclusion was everything. But we've learned over the years every difference of opinion doesn't have to be settled. We no longer expect to agree on everything. Remembering that our relationship, not the issue, is the most important thing we often ask ourselves if our motives for the disagreement are selfish. If they are we pray about our differences and let them go. After all it was our differences that attracted us to one another in the first place. Just because we have differing opinions doesn't mean we aren't compatible or that we are drifting apart. We are willing to not get defensive nor to insist on winning at all costs. Agreeing to disagree helps us to appreciate one another's uniqueness.

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an Award-winning author, Bible teacher, and licensed Evangelist, Cheryl's books, CD's, and devotionals are not meant to only entertain, but to also minister to and encourage others.

Keith Donovan is a husband, father, son, and most importantly a man of God. He endeavors to emulate the image of Christ as he forges his way through life.

Keith and Cheryl have been married for seventeen years and have three grown children and one grandson.

Their new book Do You Still Do What Happens Happily Ever After can be pre-ordered by visiting Peace in the Storm Publishing. To learn more about them visit their website Do You Still Do Marriage

7 Principles for a Marriage of Purpose

Principle 3: Keep a "teachable spirit"

by: Cheryl and Keith Donovan

We believe that God can use each of us to help the other deal with "blind spots." We all have areas in our lives in which we need to grow or bad habits we need to overcome. Sometimes these things are easy for our spouse to see, but difficult for us to see in ourselves. If we keep a teachable spirit, God can use our spouse to help us grow to be a better person, a better spouse, and more Christ like.

Easier said than done because human nature tends to be defensive and stubborn we tend to react unseemly when our spouse tries to help us see a weak area. Pointing out one of their weaknesses while excusing our own we try to ease our ego. But as long as we both are determined to keep a genuine teachable spirit, the marriage continues to soar to new heights!

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an Award-winning author, Bible teacher, and licensed Evangelist, Cheryl's books, CD's, and devotionals are not meant to only entertain, but to also minister to and encourage others.

Keith Donovan is a husband, father, son, and most importantly a man of God. He endeavors to emulate the image of Christ as he forges his way through life.

Keith and Cheryl have been married for seventeen years and have three grown children and one grandson.

Their new book Do You Still Do What Happens Happily Ever After can be pre-ordered by visiting Peace in the Storm Publishing. To learn more about them visit their website Do You Still Do Marriage

7 Principles for Having a Marriage of Purpose

Principle 2: We enjoy sharing the details of life with each other.

by; Cheryl and Keith Donovan

We want to know "how the day went" for each other. We share the details of what's going on at work or what's going on in the lives of our kids.

This was not always the case. There was a time in our marriage when communication was tertiary at best. Struggling often to put my feelings into words after an, I would withdraw and shut my husband out with silence just to avoid conflict. Feelings buried so as not to provoke Keith only stayed buried for the short term. They eventually came to a head. My passive aggressive behavior of nagging and blaming was just as dangerous to our marriage as Keith’s more aggressive tirades of anger that played out with yelling and screaming. We had developed a habit of allowing our arguments to get out of control. Not resolving the problem gave us an initial feeling of peace and harmony, but it was like a wound that heals on the surface when underneath there’s an infection that needs to be released. No one enjoys lancing the wound, but real recovery can’t take place otherwise.

we had to reframe our thinking, realign the way we handled disagreements to better reflect the pattern God wanted to see. Instead of justifying our behavior we learned how to properly react to disagreements no matter how intense they were or who was at fault. We learned to see through conflict and search for the real issues that were submerged under the surface of our shallow pool of volatile emotions. Bringing God into the conversation didn’t hurt. His wisdom always helped when we couldn’t find the answer on our own. Each time we worked out a disagreement this way we were better equipped to deal with the next one. It fine-tuned our relationship.

Now, we crave the opportunity to talk to one another and share our inner most thoughts and feelings. Open communication that is edyfying, encouraging, and reaffirming makes for a long lasting realtionship able to endure the test of time.

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an Award-winning author, Bible teacher, and licensed Evangelist, Cheryl's books, CD's, and devotionals are not meant to only entertain, but to also minister to and encourage others.

Keith Donovan is a husband, father, son, and most importantly a man of God. He endeavors to emulate the image of Christ as he forges his way through life.

Keith and Cheryl have been married for seventeen years and have three grown children and one grandson.

Their new book Do You Still Do What Happens Happily Ever After can be pre-ordered by visiting Peace in the Storm Publishing. To learn more about them visit their website Do You Still Do Marriage

7 Principles for Having a Marriage of Purpose

Principle 1: Keep God at the center of your marriage
by: Cheryl and Keith Donovan

Having God at the center of your marriage means more than just going to church together or saying grace before mealtime. Frequently when my husband Keith and I are alone together, we talk about the Lord. We remind each other of how good He's been to us and we discuss what He's doing in our lives right now. We have times when together we discuss passages of scripture we've read from the Bible. You'll also see and hear us praying for our children, for wisdom for the day, and any petitions we are seeking the Lord for. This is what it means for God to be Lord of our marriage.

We take seriously the commitment we made to God through our vows. We seek at evey occasion to make our marriage glorify God through the way we treat one another, speak to one another, and love one another. Our marriage is a lab for learning how to love like Jesus. Testing our faith our fortitude and our resilience, each day we embark upon a new experiment. Some days the experiment is a success, other days we have to return to our lab manual, the Bible, and formulate a new hypothesis, a new theory, that will prove our union worthy of purpose. Our marriage has been the best work room for God to teach us to look more like Him.

Striving to reflect our ultimate service to God for which we were both made Keith and I look for ways to display our servant hood to one another and to others. We have come to understand and accept that some of the very things we regret about our marriage, some of the things we wish we could forget, are the very things that God has used over and over again as we minister to and encourage couples who share the same struggles. God hasn’t just used our strengths; He’s used our weaknesses and even our failures to edify relationships on the brink of catastrophe.

Our mission as believers is to now use our marriage as a means to tell others about love. Our marriage is a lifelong process designed to teach us to see the needs of another person as more important than our own. The more we shift in that direction, the more our marriage becomes focused on the needs of others and balancing our purpose. Life is more fulfilling when you choose to be obedient to God and keep Him at the center.

Keep God at the center of your marriage. Remember God’s plan for you and your spouse are plans to prosper you and to give you a future full of hope. It is exceedingly and abundantly more than you could ever ask or think. But each of you must be willing to chase it.

Cheryl Lacey Donovan is an Award-winning author, Bible teacher, and licensed Evangelist, Cheryl's books, CD's, and devotionals are not meant to only entertain, but to also minister to and encourage others.

Keith Donovan is a husband, father, son, and most importantly a man of God. He endeavors to emulate the image of Christ as he forges his way through life.

Keith and Cheryl have been married for seventeen years and have three grown children and one grandson.

Their new book Do You Still Do What Happens Happily Ever After can be pre-ordered by visiting Peace in the Storm Publishing. To learn more about them visit their website
Do You Still Do Marriage